

She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.'Īnd thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of Twilight. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. 'About three things I was absolutely certain.

When you like, live forever, what's there to live for?
